I'm missy I V Y
there's nothing wrong with my name.
If you think you know me, read my blog and think again. I'm imperfect and I'm Lovin' It.
I'm the only witness and the only person who can judge my life.
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Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Confused! @ 8:38 AM
Its been long since my last post. This shall be my 1st post for the yr 2007!
(Taken @obar on 24.03.07)
Went clubbing last sat with Tong, Bert, & Loi. The night turn out to be something which i have never expect or maybe i never want it to be.
I was late for the night & Tong stuff me with alcohol the moment i reach there. By the time i finished up all the shots mixed with some beer & stuffs, i was kinda high high up in the sky. Thats the only night that me & Tong did not enough step into the dance floor.
Around 2plus, Bert left dbl o. He msg me saying that next time dont reply or ans him anymore on msn or sms le. I dun really know whats going on. Its suppose to be a drinking session but yeah when you're high you cant really think. Haha!
Nearing closing time, me n Tong already half dead le. Both resting down dun wanna move. Thats the 1st time i went clubbing w/o dancing. Haha! As usual when Dbl o closes, we mvoe towards the river side to have a rest. The moment we rush there, i puked! After puking i just ly onto tong. Before dawn break, Loi woke us up to get our ass back home. Got onto a cab & jerry sent me back home.
Reach my house. Loi confessed to me! OMGWTFBBQ! I was so shock that i dunno wsat i should do! I never expect him to confess to me. Than he asked me if i like Tong but i never replied him as im feeling very uncomfortable at that point of time. Gonna puke soon. I keep asking him to go back than he gave me a peak on the cheek & board the same cab back home le.
Reach hm le saw Tong msg:- "Feel like hugging u to slp". Than he doze off after that msg. His also dead drunk. Went to take a bath & cant really slp. Was thinking about what had actually happen the whole night. Around 10am force myself to bed.
Woke up in the late afternoon feeling tired & hang over. On MSN 1st thing i got a shock. An email from Loi.
"Ivy, I am probably going to regret writing this letter, but i would probably regret it even more if i did not get this off my chest. i say its is better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than to lose that someone you love with your useless pride.I know you are probably confused why i am doing this, but just hang on for one second and let me explain.
Most people see me as nutty, insane and clownish. But i do have a serious side to things at times.I do not know when i had fallen for you, but let me say that you are special. Few girls have your sense of humor, mad antics, charm and beauty. Had i met you earlier by 1 or 2 months, i would probably have not decided not to go to Australia to study.(Madness you say? There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.) But as fate would have it i met you too late. Its true i had tried to convince myself that it is futile and selfish thought, but my moments of weakness came through.Now having explained my hesitance to confess earlier on, i will like to explain my actions earlier on last night.
I know it is wishful thinking that i would ever get to be your boyfriend, to take care of you and give you joy, but long distance relationships are simply not feisible.I also already know the answer to the question i posed to you last night, i can take a hint from your actions. It was a painful night to endure. One of the hardest things in life is watching the person you love, love someone else.. I now understand now why heartaches are called heartaches; its really like stabbing yourself in the heart and a part of you really dies.i can understand bert leaving earlier; i myself was tempted to do that exact same thing.
What i need to know from you is this. Have you had any feelings for me at all? or was it all my imagination?
I myself do not understand why i am asking this question. But my heart just has to know. You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.
Regardless of the reply, or silence. I still wish that you will find your happiness, with or without me. I hope that this will not sour our friendship. But i will be madly envious of the guy you choose and i hope he treats you good. Always remember this, no man is worth your tears, but once you find the one that is. He wont make you cry.
This letter took me alot of courage to write, alot of time rethinking and organising my thoughts. I pray that you keep this letter private between both of us and give me a reply, no matter how short.
As it is, it took me 2 hours to decide whether to click the send button."
I didnt reply him as i really dunno how to. Along the days, i just pretend i have never seen the email. Sometimes pretending is still the best way out.
Its been long since my last post. This shall be my 1st post for the yr 2007!
(Taken @obar on 24.03.07)
Went clubbing last sat with Tong, Bert, & Loi. The night turn out to be something which i have never expect or maybe i never want it to be.
I was late for the night & Tong stuff me with alcohol the moment i reach there. By the time i finished up all the shots mixed with some beer & stuffs, i was kinda high high up in the sky. Thats the only night that me & Tong did not enough step into the dance floor.
Around 2plus, Bert left dbl o. He msg me saying that next time dont reply or ans him anymore on msn or sms le. I dun really know whats going on. Its suppose to be a drinking session but yeah when you're high you cant really think. Haha!
Nearing closing time, me n Tong already half dead le. Both resting down dun wanna move. Thats the 1st time i went clubbing w/o dancing. Haha! As usual when Dbl o closes, we mvoe towards the river side to have a rest. The moment we rush there, i puked! After puking i just ly onto tong. Before dawn break, Loi woke us up to get our ass back home. Got onto a cab & jerry sent me back home.
Reach my house. Loi confessed to me! OMGWTFBBQ! I was so shock that i dunno wsat i should do! I never expect him to confess to me. Than he asked me if i like Tong but i never replied him as im feeling very uncomfortable at that point of time. Gonna puke soon. I keep asking him to go back than he gave me a peak on the cheek & board the same cab back home le.
Reach hm le saw Tong msg:- "Feel like hugging u to slp". Than he doze off after that msg. His also dead drunk. Went to take a bath & cant really slp. Was thinking about what had actually happen the whole night. Around 10am force myself to bed.
Woke up in the late afternoon feeling tired & hang over. On MSN 1st thing i got a shock. An email from Loi.
"Ivy, I am probably going to regret writing this letter, but i would probably regret it even more if i did not get this off my chest. i say its is better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than to lose that someone you love with your useless pride.I know you are probably confused why i am doing this, but just hang on for one second and let me explain.
Most people see me as nutty, insane and clownish. But i do have a serious side to things at times.I do not know when i had fallen for you, but let me say that you are special. Few girls have your sense of humor, mad antics, charm and beauty. Had i met you earlier by 1 or 2 months, i would probably have not decided not to go to Australia to study.(Madness you say? There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.) But as fate would have it i met you too late. Its true i had tried to convince myself that it is futile and selfish thought, but my moments of weakness came through.Now having explained my hesitance to confess earlier on, i will like to explain my actions earlier on last night.
I know it is wishful thinking that i would ever get to be your boyfriend, to take care of you and give you joy, but long distance relationships are simply not feisible.I also already know the answer to the question i posed to you last night, i can take a hint from your actions. It was a painful night to endure. One of the hardest things in life is watching the person you love, love someone else.. I now understand now why heartaches are called heartaches; its really like stabbing yourself in the heart and a part of you really dies.i can understand bert leaving earlier; i myself was tempted to do that exact same thing.
What i need to know from you is this. Have you had any feelings for me at all? or was it all my imagination?
I myself do not understand why i am asking this question. But my heart just has to know. You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.
Regardless of the reply, or silence. I still wish that you will find your happiness, with or without me. I hope that this will not sour our friendship. But i will be madly envious of the guy you choose and i hope he treats you good. Always remember this, no man is worth your tears, but once you find the one that is. He wont make you cry.
This letter took me alot of courage to write, alot of time rethinking and organising my thoughts. I pray that you keep this letter private between both of us and give me a reply, no matter how short.
As it is, it took me 2 hours to decide whether to click the send button."
I didnt reply him as i really dunno how to. Along the days, i just pretend i have never seen the email. Sometimes pretending is still the best way out.
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Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Confused! @ 8:38 AM 
